I remember the first night after I brought Isaiah home from the hospital. I was sure I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and was so worried I would make some dire mistake. I literally slept him in his bassinet right next to me with a video camera baby monitor facing right at him. I couldn’t sleep most of the night and kept rubbing his little nose to get him to move just so that I could make sure he was still breathing. I was overly paranoid and so was my dear husband. He would fall into deep sleep and wake up panicky, “El Niño!” he would yelp. “He’s fine.” I’d respond. The first few weeks or maybe even months I got almost no sleep at all. It wasn’t necessarily because the baby was keeping me up; it was rather my own paranoia that wouldn’t allow me to rest.
Even now, as my children are older I wonder if maybe I’m making irreparable mistakes that they will be forced to deal with for the rest of their lives. I wouldn’t refer to myself as a helicopter mom but I’m also far from the free-range parenting style. I try to set up barriers for my children that not only keep them safe physically, but also spiritually. I am far from being a “ perfect mom’’. I love my children more than anything in this entire world and it is by that love that I parent. There are times when I raise my voice and I later regret it. There are times that my impatience gets the best of me. While I hug them daily and tell them that I love them every chance I get, I am still human. I make mistakes. I let my guard down. I once heard a preaching where the preacher preached about how his parents thought he was the “perfect child”. If anyone ever came to them with a complaint about him, they’d be quick to dismiss them by saying “Not my child. My child is not like that.” Parents, we will never be able to predict every move our children will make. We learn them a little more with each day that passes. We, as parents, are going to make mistakes. It’s inevitable. However, we must always take a few steps back and learn from these mistakes. A while back my husband and I grounded my son for a few weeks for doing something he knew he should not be doing. I must confess that had we not witnessed it ourselves, I’d be extremely hesitant to believe it. It was very much outside of my child’s character or so I believed. Right when we think we have them all figured out, “BAM!”, they hit us with a side swing! I was meditating on a mother dear and close to me. I think she is one of the most poised and patient mothers I have ever met. She seems to know everything and to have always had it all together. Although her children are grown adults with kids of their own, they all posses profound love and respect for her. I think to myself, “Did this woman ever make any mistakes as a mother?” The Lord answered me with a quick “Of course, she did! She, too, is human. It is through her many years of parenting that she has gained even more insight and experience. She has learned from every mistake and grown from every challenge she has been confronted with.”
You see, there is no such thing as a perfect mom. We’re all just striving to be the best parent we can be for our kids. Dr. James Dobson said it best, “Raising healthy, well-educated, self-disciplined children who love God and their fellow human being is, I believe, the most challenging responsibility in living. Not even rocket science can approach it for complexity and unpredictability.” God designed our children precisely for us. We were not given them by mistake, but even more importantly, they were not given us by mistake. God has instilled in us, unequivocally and undoubtedly the components that we need to raise them well. Parenting is a process, a journey, an adventure! We are not asked to be perfect parents. We are all learning as we go. Our children will make mistakes. Our children will let us down from time to time. That doesn’t mean we fail in parenting. It simply means they, too, are human. So pray for them, encourage them, love them. Extend to them the same grace the God of the Universe extends to you daily.
Imperfect Mom,
Rosalinda Serna